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WARNING : Ideologically sensitive contents (blood).


Monday, and morning already.

Feliciano woke ________ up by turning the computer on by himself. Surprised, she couldn't help but yell at him; though at least she was awake! He insisted that she follow the teacher's advice, and go back to school. She acted like he didn't say anything, but the cyber boy then asked her to go only to meet his brother, Lovino Vargas... 

________ thought about it for a long while, before leaving her bed. 

Better go after my parents go to work. 

She didn't want them to know, or they would be such a pain. After dressing and washing her face, she looks at the screen, where Feliciano is waiting. ________ bites her lip, nervous.

''I'm... scared, y'know...''

''It's okay bella! You can do it!''

''It's just... I'd feel...''

She would feel lonely. If the 'computer boy' wouldn't be there, she was unsure about going to school. He supported her, taught her what interaction and life were; at least, just enough so she could find the courage to go outside again. 

She stares at the door, when the Italian says:

''________, give me your phone number.''

''What?''

''Just trust me!''

A few seconds after she gave it to him, the computer turns off by itself.

''Feli...?''

Her phone suddenly vibrates. When she takes it, the screen delivers a message, from an unknown number, with no title, just an attachment. With that familiar 'déjà-vu', she retains a little smile and pushes the button to open it. As if he was playing hide and seek, Feliciano shows up from behind the corner of the screen, a giant smile on his face.

''Hi there ~ Now I can follow you wherever you go!''

''Oh, come on...''

She sounded happy, but somehow, couldn't admit it.

''So, bella, should we go?''

''Yes, yes.''

________ grabs her earphones and connect them; she wouldn't anyone else to hear his voice coming out of the phone. After taking it in her pocket and the bag on the shoulder, she passes the door again, going downstairs with more confidence, but stares nervously at the entrance. 

It's okay. Feliciano is with you. You don't have... to be afraid... 

Afraid? Since when she was afraid of the outside world? She shakes her head. No, no! She wasn't scared or anything, she just hates it! Why would she be suddenly scared of school, people even? That doesn't sound like she was saying before...It's been just three months since she started skipping school- there's no way that the reason for that is fear.

She ends up taking a deep breath, turns the handle, opens the door, and lets the sunlight enters in the house.

''Everything will be fine, I promise.'' Says the cyber boy.

________ doesn't answer, but from the bottom of her heart, silently thanks him for the strange courage he provides.


- - Time skip : 8:03 am - -

I'm late...

________ smirks. How could she be late if no one was waiting for her? She doesn't run, but walks with no hurry through the corridor. On the way from her home to school, she and Feliciano just talked as if ________ was chatting with someone on the phone. In the end, the outside world didn't look too annoying. The problem was just from the school. When she entered through the principal's door, she became quiet after saying to the cyber boy they would talk later. But the Italian didn't stop supporting her, saying things like ''fight!'' or ''I'm with you!''

________ smiled, but when she finds the door to her classroom, her face becomes suddenly emotionless. ''It's time now'' she tells him in a whisper, begging him to wait while she takes off the earphones before to put them in the pocket.

A new breath.

Then she knocks shyly at the door. Her hand was shaking. She hears a ''come in'' from the inside, and recognize the voice of the homeroom teacher. Thank god, at least, he was here. She opens the door, and all eyes are on her; everyone is surprised. She couldn't help but stare at the ground.

''________ … !'' says the teacher with joy in his voice. ''Welcome back.''

He smiled while the young girl looks back at him. But she doesn't dare to do the same with her classmates. From here, she could hear some whispers; surely saying things like 'oh, the weird girl is back' or 'she's still here?' or even 'I thought she just killed herself or something...'. 

When ________ hears that one, she suddenly feels the courage to stare at the one who said that. It was a boy, surprised to be found out so quickly. ________ doesn't know how she looks like right now, but by the expression of that guy, she should looked very serious or kind of... scary. The teacher smiles to everyone, gesturing to the high schooler.

''Well well. Please, everyone, be gentle with your classmate. I'm sure she will do her best to reintegrate !''

The classmates look around at each other, but no one answers. ________ stares back at the door. 

Oh god, I want to go home....

The man pats her shoulder. ''So ________, you can go back to your seat!''

She thanks him by nodding her head, and goes to sit down.

''I'm counting on everyone!''

She smirks again, hiding her mouth. If only he knew...teens are not like that. If a lonely person becomes the 'hated one', they will be bullied. But she doesn't intend to turn into that person. She came here only to meet Lovino Vargas. She stares at all her classmates, and when most of them stare back with unpleasant looks, she grins.

She is definitely not friends with them.


- - Time skip : 12:06 pm - -


''So, so, ________ ! How was it?''

Feliciano couldn't keep calm, and shakes in the phone as if he was dancing; or as if the screen was too small compared to the computer's. ________ smiles at him, earphones in ears, walking in the corridor.

''It was horrible.'' she sighs. The Italian suddenly looks panicked.

''Eh?! Eeeh? Really?! B-But...! Eh...Veeeeh...''

________ giggles.

''It's okay, it's okay, don't worry. I'm fine, I knew that no one would welcome me like the teacher wanted.''

''Veh... It's too sad for him to see that after all his efforts...''

''You think so ? He shouldn't worry too much on one student.''

''Si but if he wasn't there, who could do the stuff in the outside world while I'm in your screen?''

________ raises an eyebrow.

''You worry that much about me...?''

''Shouldn't I ?''

He pulls a cute but worried face. She sighs again, but smiles right after.

''It's okay. I'm happy as long you're by my side... I think.''

''Veh, bella!'' he smiles again. ''Aren't you smiling more often recently?''

''What?''

When she feels a little blush on her cheeks, she puts the phone in her pocket. Through the earphones, she could hear him speaking.

"Wait, ________! I was just--! Veh, please, let me see you!''

''Shut up.'' She says while she blushes more, covering her face with her wrist. ''That's embarrassing. You sound like a character from a dating-game, that's stupid.''

''A dating-game, veh...''

After ________ finds a place to eat lunch, she sits and puts her stuff in front of her. At this time, there are not many people and she can keep calm even though she's not home. The phone next to her, Feliciano shouts with a giant smile, just when ________ opens her lunchbox.

"Buon appetito, bella!''

She smiles at him, and eats. For now, being outside, like this, isn't so bad. While eating, she stares at the other students, over here and there, staying all together. She couldn't really remember how she managed to become the lonely depressed girl that she has managed to become. Every day was the same since that; she didn't talk to her parents, her teacher came as often as he could, and she kept staying in front of the computer screen. Her mother brought the meals to the door and she had her own bathroom, next to her room. She didn't need to go outside. She didn't need anything but the computer.

Then Feliciano had appeared.

So many things changed since she met him. Right, those are little things, but they're all important in ________'s life. Again, she talked. Again, she walked in her kitchen. Again, she chatted with her teacher. Again, she came to school. But in the end... That wasn't very different. The young girl thought the same way. 'People are stupid', 'they don't understand', 'all the same'. 

Feliciano couldn't change that. That was ________'s view on the world.

Feliciano is just a program.

She stares at her lunchbox.

How could she forget that? How could she forget that she did that all by herself? There's no Feliciano... There's no guy who supports her... 

He is fake. Feliciano doesn't exist.

''Bella? Veh, are you alright?''

________ looks at him, emotionless. That sudden change makes him uncomfortable; that's what her phone screen shows, this is not a real face after all.

''Do you know what love is, Feliciano ?''

''Veh? Amore?''

''Do you know what sadness is? Madness? Happiness?''

''B-Bella...?''

''No you don't.'' She says as she brutally puts her lunchbox on the grass. ''Of course.''

Then she takes the phone and gives to the Italian boy a mad but cold look.

''What are you exactly? Who made you? Why are you even here?''

''V-Veh...I...don't know what you're talking about bella, I'm... I have a brother and-''

''No you don't !'' she shouts. ''You might have a link with a guy called Lovino Vargas, but you're surely not his brother! He's probably the one who made you, and sent you to my computer! You might be a virus who just chose any mail address! You're not real!''

Feliciano looks like he's going to cry, or at least, he doesn't even know what's going on. Man, he looked like a real crybaby.

''I-I... I have a brother a-and...bella I... I just wanted to support you and-''

''You were just programmed to say things as humans. You say you're happy, but you're not. You say you support me, but you don't. You say you used to cook, but you never did that before !''

''_-________...''

''Those things are parts of the little shitty program you are! You can't feel, you can't love, you can't even hate! I might delete you when I want! And right now, you're surely NOT crying!''

The phone shows to ________ a crying Italian guy, tears in the corners of his eyes. He tries to say something but the high schooler just takes the phone, her bag, and walks quickly to the girls' bathroom. Feliciano mumbles things she doesn't even listen, but his voice was so shaking she couldn't understand. Above a sink, she puts the phone against the mirror, which is in front of her, and search something in her bag... a really sharp, shiny thing.

''________!! Why would you bring that?!''

________ just took a razor blade. She stares at it, with a lost gaze. She remembers now. Three months ago... she was bullied. She still doesn't truly know why. She can't remember the details, but one thing is certain; the little mark of dried blood on the razor blade is hers. She took it that day to prove someone hurt her. But what happened next... She couldn't remember. Her memories of it were too fuzzy. So ________ just realizes something.

Selective Memory.

Bad things... A series of bad things happened that day, and now she was here. But she had forgotten all of them, because she didn't go outside to see the world. She didn't leave her computer. So she left everything... left the bad things. Something happened three months ago. What was it? What was it again?

________ lifts the razor, putting it on her wrist.

"Don't! Please! _-________...!'' His voice was desperate.

''Sorry Feliciano, but I'd rather hurt myself instead of the world hurting me.''

Then she brought the piece of metal down.

''________!''

Feliciano was blocked, he couldn't reach the other side of the screen. But that blood, dripping down ________'s arm, was so close to him. An expression of suffering slowly appears on her face as she repeats the same move. Feliciano was shouting, crying, his fake fists punching the screen.

''I BEG YOU, STOP! DON'T! ________!!''

What happened that day? If she decided to stay at home to forget it, it was probably something really bad... really sad... Awful...

The razor blade falls in the sink, bloody. ________ puts her wrist against her chest. It hurts...

Feliciano mumbles, his face covered by his hands, with a shaking, crying voice.

''I'm real...please, stop. Don't... I swear, I'm real... please...''

She just ignores him. And gasps.

Someone was coming in.
Shimeji!ItalyxDepressed!Reader, Real or Fake Part5
BLOOD STUFF \>v</ ... As me and few friends say : "Du sang ! Des boyaux ! De l'hémoglobine à flots !"

So yeah, this end might brings some "wtf" faces, I'm sorry. I always liked that kind of ''turnabout''. Hope you still like it though. I don't know when the next chapter will be out, guess I'll just write it in one day just like the last ? C:

See ya next time ! (whoa, that was a short descrip'... well well, wheredidIputmyRPGmessages?)
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I hate tags. by ShinoharaAsahi
I hate tags.
What a timing. Just when I wanted to change it. I hate you, :icon70pauline: , with love.

So I guess I'm supposed to tag some people right ? Well, y'know what ? Fuck this, I'm tired right now. I'm a nice creature ~
Yeah, this is the guys from the Kagerou Days PV thing. For now. Anyway, it's pretty tidy uh ? ~

Now, good night.
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Her eyes, not used to such bright sunlight, blinked rapidly before she covers them with a hand. She freezes, waiting for her gaze to focus again. 

Even though she knew she was going to have to talk to her teacher, she doesn't want him to hear her footsteps. And so, she walks slowly, finds the stairs and moves quietly.

If Feliciano was here, he would support her, but for now, she holds her breath and wipes her mind of any thoughts. Calm down, ________... he's your teacher, he's here to help you... it's just as Feliciano said... He's worried about you, make sure he won't anymore... do this for him.

One footstep, two footsteps... She feels like she enters a house which is not hers. The silence is too much, she doesn't even know where that man is right now. She walks slowly to the kitchen. She never said she would meet the teacher, she just wants to get something to eat...

''Good afternoon, ________.''

She feels like she turned into a statue of ice, and suddenly turns back to see her kind, smiling teacher in front of her. He just stares at the high schooler, with no anger or sadness shown on his face.

________ doesn't know what kind of expression she has right now, but it should be really weird or surprising.

''G... Good afternoon...''

''Ha ha, sorry, I couldn't hear you.''

Her voice has suddenly disappeared, as if those days with the cyber boy never happened. She moves her fingers nervously, palms clammy.

''Good... after--''

''It's nice to see you again. I thought you'd never show your face.''

Of course, she won't tell him a thing about Feliciano; because she has to admit that if he wasn't here, she would never get out of her room. She doesn't dare to look at him in the eyes, as she used to.

''I guess you don't like being here, alone, with me instead of your parents... but, I am worried about you. I want to understand what happened.''

Do it, ________. Tell him how you feel and what you want... come on, say it!

Your mind pleads with you, but you make no sound.


The young girl will say everything except she's sorry. Because really, she is not. The teacher looks at the kitchen before to go back to her.

''But first, let's cook something for you to eat. You haven't had a thing since yesterday, have you ?''

"T-That's right...''

________ thought it would be an embarrassing and awkward moment. But in fact, the teacher's mood made her feel better; he made it seem like everything is easier if you just keep smiling. He kind of acts like Feliciano, but in a mature way. 

The problem was he's an adult, so she was sure it'd be too difficult to relax. In few minutes, the man has loosened his tie, and looks now more relaxed than earlier. ________ wasn't smiling happily like he was, but the situation was not uncomfortable.


- - Time skip : 6:58 pm - -


''Looks like your parents will be home soon.''

________ looks at the time, and yes, he was right. Only a few minutes left, and she will see the face of her mother and father again.

''Say, ________...''

This time, she stares at him, confident.

''Will you come back to school, tomorrow?''

She freezes, and slowly looks at her hands, holding a glass of water. There's another silence.

''I don't...'' she doesn't finish her sentence.

''You don't know?''

''No I...'' she takes a breath. ''I don't want to.''

''… Why not?''

He looks at her, waiting for an answer. This time, she finds the courage to look into his eyes.

''Sir, there's... there's things I don't like at school. And I don't want to face it... alone.''

''You're not alone, ________--''

''Yes I am ! You don't understand, I don't need a teacher to stay by my side, I need... I need a...''

She needs a friend. No matter who is it, she needs someone to stay with her. Someone who can understands her feelings, spares time with her, becomes the best friend she never had. 

But how can she find one if she stays at home all the day? That person will never show up like this. 

Wait a minute... Her eyes are wide open. The one I need is...

''Yes...?''

''… Nothing.''

No, no way. There's no way Feliciano would be enough. Who the hell can be satisfied with only a program to talk to? He's not even real. He's not real, but...

''Sir... do you know someone named Lovino Vargas ?''

''Vargas, you say? That sounds familiar to me, yes...''

''Really?''

''He's not my student, but you two are in the same grade.''

Same grade, huh...

''Ah, right, I remember! Three months ago, he started to skip school... just like you.''

''Lovino... skips school?''

''He did. Actually, he still does, but he comes back sometimes. Not everyday though...''

''Did something... happen?''

He stays silent for a moment.

''Do you know him ?''

''A... friend talked to me about him.''

''Who's that friend?''

She's not going to reveal Feliciano's identity.

"Not really a friend, I guess, just a classmate who said something about him one day. That's all.''

''…Well. Since you've skipped school for three months now, I guess it's pretty normal that you don't know about the accident.''

''Accident?''

The entrance door suddenly slams, and a familiar voice calls out.

''We're home!''

She stands up, recognizing her parents, scared to see them again, face to face. The teacher leaves his seat too, and gives her a little smile before he joins them. Frozen in the kitchen, she doesn't move but just listens. When the man disappears, she can hear her mother's voice.

''How is she?''

''Don't worry, she's fine.''

________ couldn't take it and, without take a glance at her parents, runs to her bedroom. As she slams and locks the door, the voice of her dad calls her name. She could hear the concern in his voice, but decides to ignore it. 

She ruffles her hair as she wraps herself in her bedsheets once again. 

Parents are the worst to talk with. They worry the most, and that's exhausting, oppressive even. In the end, nothing changes...

''Bella!'' shoots Feliciano as he appears on the screen again. ''Are you okay?''

''Oh, shut up!''

Her voice was so loud that the cyber boy hides behind a window he opened. A few seconds later, ________ slowly stands up and sits in front of the screen, her face between her hands, with a sad, exhausted expression.

''Feliciano, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to yell at you...''

It's probably the first time she has apologized since all of this started. He shows up right after, a little hesitant.

''It's okay... so, how was it?''

She stares at him, and covers her eyes with hands.

''I don't want to talk about it right now... Let's just... talk about something else...''

All she needs now is a little chat with him. Or a long chat, whatever. The boy seems now more friendly to her than earlier. But as they're talking, the 'Italian' boy notices that thing which shows that everything go wrong, unlike what she tries to make him think. 

Her smile, her words, her attitude, everything is fake. This doesn't differ from the past three months, but this time, it is different... ________ is, maybe, in danger. Feliciano keeps acting the same, but he decides that things have to change, and soon.

Bella, you're hiding from reality again... you think because I'm behind a screen, I can do nothing? It's okay, I'm going to save you...
Shimeji!ItalyxDepressed!Reader, Real or Fake Part4
FINALLY. I'm sorry, I'm late, I'm.... oh wait, whatever.
So here's another part. School is over. Summer vacation. Computer vacation you mean, yes... Haha 
Hope you still like it :3

Part 1 : shinoharaasahi.deviantart.com/…
Part 2 : shinoharaasahi.deviantart.com/…
Part 3 : shinoharaasahi.deviantart.com/…
Part 4 : right here
Part 5 : Shimeji!ItalyxDepressed!Reader, Real or Fake Part5
Part 6 : coming next~


Italy : Hetalia, Himayura
You : yourself
Correction : :iconally1001:

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J'avais déjà évité l'autre tag (parce que je venais juste d'en remplir un) mais là, plus le choix. Et puis le sujet va me changer, c'est pas plus mal ! Du coup j'offre une journée gratos SM à :icon70pauline: !

Règles  :

* Choisir un OC pour qu’il réponde aux questions.

* Vous pouvez faire sauter trois questions si elles spoil trop votre histoire.

* Tagger seulement 5 personnes en allant les prévenir sur leur page.

Personnage choisi : (Asahi étant revenue trop souvent, ce sera un de mes nouveaux antagonistes) Sid.

Questions Bases :

Comment t’appelles-tu ?

C'est Sid Hazart; mais on prend que le prénom.

Quel âge as-tu ?

20 ans, et toutes mes... armes.

Quand et où es-tu né(e) ?

Le 29 novembre entre 1990 et 1995; je suis donc Sagittaire. Et je suis un pur américain.

Quel est ta ville natale ?

Boston.

Question famille ?

Qui sont tes parents ?

Des gens tout à fait normaux.

Que font-ils dans la vie ?

Ma mère travaillait comme journaliste et mon père... médecin je crois, enfin j'sais plus. Je les ai plus vu depuis mes 18 balais, si ça se trouve, ils font aut' chose.

As-tu des frères et sœurs ? Si non, aurais-tu aimé en avoir ?

Fils unique forever. Mais je crois que ça m'aurait plu d'avoir une petite soeur.

Qui t’as pris(e) dans les bras en premier ?

 ... C'est quoi cette question ? C'est quoi le sens... ?

Est-ce la personne que tu aimes le plus au monde actuellement ?

Ah bah ça sûrement pas. "Elle", elle est arrivée bien après.

Question Noires :

De quoi as-tu peur ?

Peur ? Je me promène constamment avec un flingue, tu crois que j'ai peur ? Et non je me défends de rien, c'est pas le sujet. Mais pour être gentil *grimace* disons que j'ai peur que ce que j'entreprends ne réussisse pas.

De qui as-tu peur ?

Personne n'a plus de burnes que moi, donc personne. 

Pongé(e) dans la solitude, à quoi penses-tu ?

Mes plans, tout le temps à mes plans.

Ton pire souvenir ?

... Et mon flingue dans ta gorge ?

Te hante-t-il encore ?

Si c'était pas le cas, tu crois que j'aurais ce flingue, tocard ?

Questions Tendresse :

Dans les moments sombres, qui te console ?

Aujourd'hui, personne (ou cette conne d'Art, sous prétexte qu'elle est un iota plus âgée), mais avant, c'était une certaine Story Teller. Oui, c'est un faux nom, mais je n'ai pas le droit de vous révéler le vrai; et quand bien même j'm'en fous.

Comment fait-il/elle ?

Comment elle faisait ? Euh... On parlait, c'est tout. Avec toutes mes merdes d'avant, c'est tout ce qui me fallait. Mais si j'entre dans les détails, ce serait trop long à expliquer (et puis chui sûr que vous êtes pas assez malin pour ça).

Est-ce la personne que tu aimes le plus ?

... Ouais.

(si non) Qui aimes-tu le plus ?

(une grande croix est remplacée par la case vide)

Que fais-tu avec elle pour passer du bon temps ?

Je discutais juste. En même temps, je pouvais pas faire grand chose.

Qui sont tes meilleurs amis ?

J'en ai pas. Et ces gamins de Terell, sa soeur et cette grande quiche qu'est Art n'en sont pas.

Que est ton meilleur souvenir ?

... *réfléchis si longtemps qu'on passe déjà à la prochaine question*

 

Question avenir :

Quel est ton rêve ?

Sauver Story Teller.

Souhaites-tu te marier ?

Faudrait déjà qu'elle sache...

Veux-tu avoir des enfants ?

Te projettes-tu vraiment dans l’avenir ?

*smirk* En voilà une question ironique... vu le monde dans lequel je vis.


Vouala. Alors ça dira pas grand chose à du monde, mais il fait partie d'une fiction qui, j'espère, verra le jour.
Et maintenant, les élus !
~ :iconanerlyn: :iconnorate: :iconlaitonite: ... oui bon j'ose pas spécialement déranger des gens que je connais pas bien sur DA.

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ShinoharaAsahi
L o a d i n g . . .
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:iconpozolegirl:
pozolegirl Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav on my steampunk england!
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:iconshinoharaasahi:
ShinoharaAsahi Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014
You're welcome :3
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Nakuru-Nebelung Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014
Hi there!
Your gallery is wonderfull :) , you've got some serious skills.

Keep up the good art!
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:iconshinoharaasahi:
ShinoharaAsahi Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014
W-W-W-What ?! //>A<//

Aww, thanks A LOT    m ><""m
I'm still training y'know; sometimes my skills troll me >w<
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Fhyen Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday ^O^
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ShinoharaAsahi Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014
Aww, thank you >w<
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:iconlaitonite:
Laitonite Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Joyeux anniversaire, Asahi ! /o/
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ShinoharaAsahi Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014
Mwahaha, thanks xD
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YayoiFujoshi Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
Asa-chan :3
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ShinoharaAsahi Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
*hug trés fort*
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